Friday, May 12, 2006

You can get STD pare!

oh yeah pare! summer time na naman pare. everybody is like going to the beach or resorts pare for some skinny-dipping pare. like people you dont even know pare, is on the water pare. something tells me you can get hawa of their diseases pare. let's face it pare, not everyone looks healthy as they look pare even if they're on their bikinis pare. if you're in a beach pare, its like you share the same kikay kit with strangers pare. like you use the same toilet bowl pare. you're like making tagay with one shot glass pare with hundreds of tao you don't even know pare. maybe its just me, but just making isip of it pare, kinda freaks me out pare. get this pare, where do you think seamen disposes their jebs pare? eewwww pare, eewwww.

well anyway pare, that's not the whole point of my entry for today. so you can scrap that thought pare.

last month pare, we went to this beach up north pare. our initial plan was just to borrow a surf board pare and take pictures pare and after that go straight home pare. lima lang kami pare, at first pare, we're kinda hesitant to go there pare. its so mainit pare, and i dont want my skin to get sunburned pare. but since we just got from a wedding pare (we got commissioned kasi pare for the wedding coverage pare, excuse my shameless plug pare, but if any of you pare wants any of your special occassion taped at photographed pare, contact me pare or just leave a comment pare.), we said "fuck it pare, lets have some fun naman pare". so we did pare. the first thing we did pare is to look for a vacant cottage pare. and we got one pare. we didn't plan to swim pare, but since we're already there pare, why not swim di ba pare? sayang naman pare.

but before we geared down pare, we walked and took pictures pare sa beach pare, looking for a surf board na we can rent and food we can eat pare. while naglalakad pare, we saw this sign pare,

it is a catch-y name for a kainan pare. but somehow got me thinking if we really could get STD in that kainan pare. he he. anyway we continued looking where we could rent a board pare. we went back to the cottage pare and chipped-in so we can buy food na pare. we bought food and ate at the cottage by the beach pare. after eating pare, only two of us decided to go and take a swim pare. the wave was cool pare, you can really surf there pare. unluckily pare, we weren't able to rent able a surfboard pare, the owner wasn't there pare. so instead we used our body as a surf board pare, lemme show you how we did it pare.

there you go pare, convinced? he he he. pero honestly pare, it really was like we were surfing pare, dinadala kami ng waves pare. its so cool pare. hang ten pare!


PS: i just realized pare, kung sa beach na yun pare you can find STD pare, in my blog you can get FMD pare. and if you basa my blog name as fast as you can it kinda sound like foot and mouth disease pare. he he he

PPS: thanks nga pala pare to my fans from the land of the rising sun pare and to Kim L. the president of OCSFSC-Anino Entertaiment Chapter salamat po sa pagbabasa.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Pitchin a concept for TV show Pare

i have this idea for a tv show pare. you know like the one's na nakikita natin pare on MTV pare? PUNK'D, Pimp my Ride and Cribs ring any bell-bell pare? but this time pare, its a combination ng tatlo pare and a bit of Big Brother pare. mukhang interesting right pare? okay here's the big idea pare:

we search for a bahay whose owners are willing and wanting their bahay to be featured pare on a national television or movies pare, little did they know pare we're gonna make sira their house pare. at para makuha namin ang matamis nilang "oo" pare, we're gonna make up a story, that its gonna be featured in a movie/sitcom pare which will be shot entirely at their house for a whole month pare. after we got ourselves a bahay pare, the search for a group of friends will be picked pare, and the chosen group will stay at the house for a month pare. No katulong pare. just like the Big Brother pare, everything will be taped and shown to the madla pare by hundreds of hidden camera installed sa lahat ng kanto ng bahay pare. the catch pare is, anything goes and can happen pare. everything is allowed pare.

okay just to give you a visual understanding of my concept pare, here are some sample photos pare on what could happen sa bahay pare. i took them for purpose of this pitch pare. its like nine o'clock in the morning pare.

Sample Episode: What's In A Production House Pare.

this is the house pare. its a house in a subdivision pare converted into an office pare. its a beautiful on the outside pare, pero wait till you see the inside pare. you might me surprised pare.


this is me welcoming you to enter our lovely house-turned-office-turned-tambayan-turned-bar-turned-party-place pare.

this is what you'll see just after you make bukas the front door pare.











then papakita ko sainyo pare the rest of the whole production space pare. and this is what you'll see pare;

an officemate playing with anything his hands can hold on to pare, this time a lipstick pare. then...











...he was joined by isa pang officemate pare and we took pictures of them pare. you should see them when they're all like lasing pare. an officemate would have his whole katawan and face pare, marked with a black marker pare. okay lets proceed to the kainan pare.


that's one hell of a messy dining room pare. dishes from last night was left unwashed pare. now lets proceed upstairs pare.

first thing to show you pare is the The Lounge pare. where all our inuman session happens here pare.
i swear those light spelled the word "lounge" pare. ngayon it spelled "love" pare.







not lets proceed and have a look at our rooms where we make ligo and the rooms where we make jebs pare. the jacuzi is off limits pare. maybe 'coz it doesnt work pare.





















next stop, our walk in closet pare.



okay this is our walk in closet pare na ngayon ay para ng ukayan pare.



now lets go to my bedroom pare. its downstairs pare. here it is,



okay thats my bedspace pare. the middle pare. that's where i sleep pare. if we only had a tent we could be doing a scene from brokeback mountain pare. but a menage a trois pare. haha. i used to sleep under my workstation pare. but there's not much space for me pare just like this guy pare;



okay let's go outside pare. here's an ashtray and a planter-turned-ashtray pare.



and here are the collection of bikes pare. none of them is mine pare.











then i tell you to get out of here pare! make you pahabol to this aso pare;

he could be one lazy-ass dog, but he sure is fierce pare.

the end.

okay thats about it pare. thatwas my whole pitch pare. its not much as of now pare, but you'll get the idea pare. i'm open for suggestions pare. share it with me pare. any wacky idea is great pare.

I Wanna Say Salamat Pare

wazzzup pare! i'm back pare. just a quick post pare. first of all pare, i wanna say salamat to all of you pare. to my supporters, offline and online friends, stalkers and to the rest of you pare who are making basa of my blog pare. its been a great first week pare.

my profile views was like na-doble during this week pare. i wasnt really expecting this pare. dati pare, i get only 30-40 views per month pare, at ngayon pare, its like 70-ish views na pare and its not even the end of the month pare. i know na not all of them are unique hits pare, but i'm gald i have fans pare or even stalkers pare. i'm happy pare. sobrang saya pare. thanks pare. now i'm all like blushing pare. the profile views is my source of inspiration sa pagsusulat in this blog pare. 'coz i'm a bit tamad magsulat pare. i'd be more that happy if you can post a comment pare. i love getting feedbacks pare. it could be a comment of hate, disgust or like make mura to me pare. its okay pare. just don't get too personal pare.

also, because alot has been asking me to transfer my blog to another bloghost pare, kasi daw pare they cant comment right away pare, they hafta logon pa pare on their friendster account just to post comment pare. that being said pare, i think i might pare. i am doing it na nga pare e. i'll let you all know when i have posted something na on that blog pare. but don't worry pare, i'm still gonna post here pare what i have posted on the new hosted blog pare. but only the intros lang here pare and the rest of the entry pare, will be on the new blog pare. i know its a bit inconvenient to you pare. but i think it would be nice to share my kagaguhan pare sa iba pare.
okay thats about it for now na muna pare.

thanks pare. to my OCSFSC (Original Cornholio Solid Fans and Stalkers Club) pare, salamat pare!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Nabitin sa Ibabaw, Pare!

shit pare! i'm all drunk and shit last night pare. at ngayon i got a hangover pare and i don't like it pare. a friend wanted us to make subok his mixed drinks pare. we all chipped-in pare like a hundred pesos pare. i'm really not much of hard-liquor-drinker-type-of-guy pare. most of the time i only inom and prefer beers pare. so just for a change i agreed to drink pare, knowing it won't be a strong drink pare. but i was wrong pare.

it was about past ten in the evening ng dumating si friend pare. i was in the bathroom pare taking a bath pare. after getting dressed pare i went straight upstairs sa The Lounge kung saan ang inuman pare. i just walked in to the lounge pare and binigyan agad me ni friend a shot of the drink pare. and sabi nya sakin to drink it straight-up and not let it stay in my mouth so tagal pare. so i did that, but tangina pare tol dude, lakas ng tama pare. and sabi pa nila to make "haaaa" after the shot pare. so i did, presko sa breath pare. pero tangina pare it was so strong, i was like about to cry na pare buti na lang na-control ko pare. dyahe sa mga visitors nya pare. in a couple of seconds mejo okay na ako pare. so then i asked them what's in it pare. friend said na it was tequila with three drops of tabasco sauce pare. tangina kaya pala my mouth was feeling kinda spiced-up-hot na pare. i didn't let them notice that my bibig is on fire pare. so i grab a stick of a sigarilyo to extinguish the fire on my lips pare. in a way pare nakatulong din yung sigarilyo pare sa pagtanggal nung anghang pare. i drank like apat or five shots of that drink pare. i let them ubos na the natitirang tequila pare, i had to stop 'coz i can feel something awful na inside my stomach pare.

after nila made ubos of the tequila pare, it was time for the second mixed drink pare. this time pare its vodka with lime and grenadine syrup pare. it tastes as awful as the first drink pare. and like natutuyo ang throat mo pare pagkatapos mo mainom pare. i think i drank a whole baso of that drink pare. after that, binuksan na yung favorite kong drink pare. beer naman this time pare. by this time i am drunk na pare, i make kulit na to the guests na pare. lucky for them i didn't make fun of them like i used to pare. i think everyone present there are like lasing na rin pare. like we're singing aloud, when some of us are sintunado naman pare. the tagay is like going fast na pare, 'coz everyone is doing the beer pressure pare. and i was like smokin like so marami pare. i was like the chimney in the bakery pare. a couple more shots i decided to give up pare, i was like lasing na talaga pare like isang glass na lang ng beer imana throw up na talaga pare. so it's time for me to use the age-old palusot pare. i told them i was just gonna take a piss pare. di na ako bumalik sa taas pare. hehehe. that trick still works pare! he he he. after i took a piss pare, i went straight to may kama pare.

i woke up kaninang umaga like nine in the morning pare and my head is killing me pare. i got a hangover pare. a really bad hangover pare. and 'coz i've been lasing like a millon times na pare, hangover is not quite new to me pare. in fact pare, i developed a counter-attack for my hangover pare and these are; taking a jebs pare pagkagising na pagkagising and after mag-jebs pare, make ligo and babad on the shower pare and lastly drink lots of tubig pare not the water coming from the shower ha pare? you'll get lagnat if you do that pare. anyway pare, so yun pagkagising ko i went to the comfort room and umupo sa comfort seat pare. i was like there sitting but nothing is going out of my ass pare. ayaw lumabas ng jebs pare. buti na lang i brought a stick of sigarilyo pare and konting ere pa pare at lumabas din yung jebs pare. it felt great pare. its like i had a multiple orgasm pare. after that pare naligo na ako pare. i was in the bathroom for like an hour pare. sarap magbabad sa shower pare.

my counter-attaeck against hangover doesn't work like a hundred percent pare. but its a good counter-attack pare it works like 65% in me pare. i was still cranky the whole day pare. i was so tamad to work pare. pero i worked pa rin pare.

hay. oh sige na mga pare i'm tired pa pare. i wanna say thank you to my fast-growing fans club pare. keep on visiting pare. and i'll keep on posting pare. para sainyo to pare. Cheers pare!

Saturday, May 06, 2006

The First for the Second time

i like meeting new people pare.people na galing from different backgrounds pare. i'm not choose-y naman pare pagdating sa mga tao pare. i'm so cool pare. kahit where mo ako isama (or ikama), i'm cool with that pare. i can adapt naman sa surroundings ko pare. im so flexible pare.kahit saan mo ako isuksok basta ba i'm with someonle else pare. okay lang pare. there this one time pa nga napagkamalan akong conio pare. i was like, "whoaw!" pare. i'm not conio pare. marunong lang ako magdala pare. i know how to act on certain occassions pare. Kasi daw i dont know any jolog words daw pare. 'coz i hafta to ask pa some people pa kung what's the meaning of a certain jolog word pare. at saka daw kasi i came from a university na kilala, mamahalin at maraming conio pare. sabi ko naman, just because i went to that university makes me a conio na rin pare. jologs din me gaya mo pare. Shallow din ako sa mga kasiyahan pare. i would easily laugh at your silly jokes din pare.

i can be your kaibigan even for a short time pare.i'm not maarte sa kung who to talk to pare. i dont care ano itsura mo pare. basta ba pare may topak rin you kahit slight pare.im sure we can get along pretty well pare.i've had a few good talks with tricycle drivers pare. they are so cool and so mabait pare. specially when i'm like lasing, i'm so kulit and talks alot to them pare. i sometimes offer them sigarilyo during the trip pare. i also have tambay friends pare. we would drink on isang baso till umaga pare. and we would make bola on the beautiful girls na daraan sa front namin pare. kantahan even if ang boses namin ay sintunado pare. i got a lot of barkada here and back home pare and all of them come from different backgrounds pare.
i'm so glad so many of you came and nakibasa sa walang kwenta kong blog pare. i'm looking forward on getting to know you as well pare. you can leave your comments here to pare. post comments, suggestions, solicitation, a word/act of gratitude (kung nakatulong man ako sayo pare) ask me on a date or sorta, you name it pare and i'll see what can or cannot do pare.
Welcome to my disease pare. Balik ka ha pare?!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Chewbacca in Narnia

Found this post at her blog and i thought its a pretty good post to comment on.

The truth about Chewbacca in Narnia.

Narnia is included in the Trade Federation. Narnia is a neutral planet, much like Switzerland. ButNarnia is not active to the Trade Federation, and the only reason Narnia got in the federation is because of the high-ranking officials at the Trade Federations' greediness. Narnia is an escape-pod for criminals.

I don't don't know if anybody knew this, but after episode seven, Chewy was exiled to Narnia after he was found guilty of sexually assualting C3P0.

That is why Chewy is in Narnia. He is the famous maker of wardrobes in all of Narnia. All wardrobes are hand-made by him and made of his dead furs. he's fashion line; HMBM-MOOM = "hand-made by me, made out of me"

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Ride at your own risk

For those who can’t afford to buy their own vehicle, riding the public transport is the only way to get to their destination. There are lots of them available for public use, world wide. There are the buses, trains, light railway trains, commercial cruisers, ferries, gondolas, commuter bangkas, and etcetera. The Philippines has lots of them too, may it be quadruped powered, fuel powered, steam powered or biped powered, and every island here has its own unique means of transportation or a rendition of the existing public transport.

Many centuries ago, Filipinos first mode of transportation is a cart being pulled by a carabao - I sucked at my History classes so I’m not really sure, and that's the only transportation that I can think that could have been available many centuries ago. And if I'm not mistaken, the cart is made of bamboo with no wheels. Well enough of about the history of transportation, before I make a schmuck outta me.

Padyak. More commonly known as, pedicab. Is made of a bicycle with a side cart attached to it supported with one wheel and can accommodate 2-3 passengers depending on how the side cart was made. Padyak can be mostly seen in subdivisions or public markets. And the pedicab drivers can be seen piled up playing cara y cruz, while waiting for passengers. I’m not rude, but I have to share my experience. Pedicab drivers (most of them) stinks, literally. They have some serious problem with bathing before going to work. And I really to be more specific, they smell like armpit-with-dried-sweat, coupled with shirt which they’ve worn two-straight days. And you can actually almost taste how they smell, very acidic. Ugh! If ever you encountered none of these, enjoy the ride ‘cause tomorrow might not be your lucky day. Though they can look and smell awful, they are kind. Fare starts from 4 pesos up to 10 pesos.

Calesa, small-horse drawn carriage supported on two tall wheels, built to accommodate two passengers and their baggage*. Cocheros (calesa drivers) would always wear their sombreros. And while on the move, the passengers can enjoy the view of the horse’s ass dumping a huge chunk of shit. Uhhhhmmm..Tastes like chicken don’t they? Ha ha! Have mercy on the passengers. I believe the calesa is the father of public transportation here in the Philippines. Today you can still find few of them running around in every major city in the country.

The tricycle. It’s more like the padyak, just got motorized and colorful. And did I say bigger and tougher? Did you know that a tricycle can accommodate up to 20 passengers? Now you know. Yes its true, but to only some renditions of the tricycle class. Classes differ from how spacious, how tough and what kind of motor the tricycle runs. See for yourself. Compare the tricycle from the city with the tricycle from provinces and you’ll say, “Ahhhhh…” Tricycle in the provinces is bigger and tougher than tricycles from the city. Tricycle drivers from the province prefer motors with more torque power than how fast they can go. So enough of the technical crap of the tricycle, let’s get into my business. So what makes the tricycle different from the other public transport, you ask. It’s the tricycle drivers. Why, you ask. A friend of mine would send me messages with plate numbers of the tricycle she’s riding, asking me to keep it for a while because the driver looks suspicious and is drunk. While waiting for their tricycles turn to be filled with passengers, you’d see them drinking on one corner of the terminal. And also they easily get irritable with the traffic and would end up shouting and cursing those truck drivers in the middle of the road. And if they see an opening, they’d speed up like a wild horse. A few years ago, I saw on the news about illegal drag racing, that tricycles are also being raced. How cool is that? Hey, this is the Philippines. Everything is possible just don’t get caught! Fare starts at 6 pesos.

The jeepney. The bad-ass and king of the Philippine roads. Jeepney is the most commonly used public transportation in this country and is available nationwide. From what I’ve heard, it is a version of the jeep used by the American soldiers during the world war. But I think our version was designed uniquely for the Filipino passengers. Filipinos loves to talk, gossip and the concept of “close-family-ties” can be seen in how the seats were designed. In every jeepney ride, you’ll encounter people in all walks of Filipino life. A stinking fish vendor, lovers who enjoys casual PDA, a group of friends who enjoys talking anything from food to relationships or even gossips, a student reviewing the past lessons for an exam that he/she’s about to take in the next 20 minutes, a drunk man asleep with his saliva all over your shoulders, an old woman who’ll complain on how fast the jeepney is running even though its only 50km/h, a married couple - the cause why the driver has to stop every block but no one is getting off the jeepney – with children that keeps on shouting “PARA!”. You could also be sitting right next to a mugger, or a girl that would make you say “She’s the one”, a long lost childhood friend who in time you forgot his/her name.

While the tricycle drivers spends their time drinking, jeepney drivers spends their time in pool tables while waiting for passengers. This is what I’m sure of, 8 out of 10 jeepney terminals, there’s always a pool table. Jeepney drivers are also talkative and the three most talked topics are; (1) boxing/billiards, (2) oil-price hike and lastly, (3) oil-price hike. He He He. Jeepneys are also prone to street racing the only difference from other racing tournament is, jeepneys have 20 or more passengers inside. But still, jeepney is the most enjoyable ride of all rides. Fare starts at 7.50 pesos.

Commuting here in the Philippines can be sometimes risky and dangerous but most of the time it’s a beauty in everyday life of a commuter.

====* qouted from this page.additional links: this, this and this.